What do flowers and people have in common? They both die.

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What did the skateboarder do when he was trying to do an ollie kickflip 360 and tailslide on a rail and dismount heelflip to manual? He fell

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What's the best joke in the world? This one.

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*******A CELL JOKE******* Mommy Ribosome and Daddy Mitochondria are watching baby nucleus play around in the cytoplasm, when all the sudden baby nucleus falls down and breaks its cell wall. Mommy ribosome is like freaking out like, "OH NO< WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WE NEED TO TAKE HER TO THE E.R.". Then Daddy Mitochondria says, "The smooth ER or the rough ER???"

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Yeah, so I was partially right when I assumed that you joined the feds in order to make sure the past would not repeat itself huh? The underground society never broke a simple rule, a single law, it simple grew from a bunch of dopeheads, to people capable of creating nuclear weapons... Just a matter of speaking of course.

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why do black people hate school? because they have to sit and learn like the rest of us for hours on end

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What is dark, funny looking, black, and rhymes with osama? A black lama.

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Wh did Steve Jobs invent the iPhone? Because he was smart.

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Jimmy and Ted are racing each other at the end ov the street. Jimmy is taller and thinner but Ted has more endurance. Who wins the race? A: the drunk driver

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What do you do after a murder kills your entire family? Nothing, he killed you too

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Hi

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So 3 Jews walk into a bar, I lied, it was a gas chamber.

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SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKY’S. PRETTY MUCH USELESS BUT MAKE YOU SMILE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN THE STAIRS. Source: http://www.pingzic.com/funny-whatsapp-status-to-make-others-laugh/

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Yo momma so fat you have aids

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A priest, a rapist, and a pedophile walk into a bar. That was just the first person.

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your momma is so dumb.. ... because she was a slacker in high school but then turned her life around and is now a respected member of society

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Whats faster that a Mexican with your TV? A speeding bullet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A man held him at gunpoint and threatened to kill his entire family.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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why did Rebecca black get down on Fridays? because she had school every other day of the week.

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"Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?" said the little girl. "I don't know", said the mother," we were robbed of all our money and posessions. And your father was killed while we were gone.

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead

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please ignore the bottom two 'jokes' as they were written by josh carey and ryan danielz

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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