What's the difference between a wife and a chef? A chef has the choice to leave the kitchen.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go to the slaughter-house.

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What do you call a guy who has no experience flying a plane? Suicidal

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65% of people are starving 32% are over 190 lbs. Think about it

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Why should you paint a canoe black? Being the darkest color, it will hide dirt, scratches, and normal wear and tear on your canoe better than lighter colors.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

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A 12-year-old boy comes up to the Polish man and says, "I was looking in your bedroom window last night and I saw you and your wife doing it. Nyah, nyah, nyah!" The Pole answers, "You are a very rude, disrespectful, and inappropriate child. Where are your parents?"

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Q: Who lives in a pinaple under the sea? A: Garry

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what do you call a tall skiny kid with a very big ego autistic.........colby schluter.

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a man is running away

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What do women and airplanes have in common? They both have cockpits!

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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This one time at band camp... I played an instrument and learned to march with the rest of my school's band.

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When geese fly south, why is one side of the V usually longer than the other? There are more geese on that side.

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What is the meaning of Life, the Universe, and Everything in it? I'm not sure at rhe moment, but it will take aproximately seven and a half million years of thinking for me to find out.

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What's silent but deadly? Limnic Eruption.

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Whats green and has wheels? A Rednecks front lawn.

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roses are scarce, violets are farse, come over here and i'll stick it up ya ar#e.

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what does a blonde say when she walks into a bar? ouch

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What do you call a man with a towel on his head? A good target.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was a metaphor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops