I like big butts and I cannot lie. You don't know that. I may enjoy skinny butts. I may be lying.

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go up to some one and say "i told you it would happen" with a straight face and walk away. it should cause a LOT of confusion.

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How do you make a ninja fly a plane? You put a gun to his head and say fly this plane.

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Why wasn't there an elevator in the rainforest? The rainforest is not capable of managing an elevator because an elevator does in fact require an energy source which is also not capable in a rainforest. The rainforest is filled with animals and is not filled with humans which would make having an elevator in the rainforest useless because the main use of an elevator is to transport humans. The animals in the rainforest would not be able to operate the elevator because using an elevator for them would be advance while humans using elevators is second nature.

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knock knock who's there? be. be who? *hits you with a batterang. BECAUSE ITS BATMAN

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John Stamos.

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a woman came back from a long vacation, one of her male employes noticed that her breast were much larger, "wow, did you get a boob job?" he asked. she replied "no i have breast cancer"

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Why did the kid with no legs fall down the stairs? Because his dad pushed him...

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, he also had no parents.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables.

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whats black white and read all over a zebra bleeding to death because a zombie just attacked it and then it attackeed the zombie

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What did Bush say to Obama was elected? I'm going to have you assassinated.

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Yeah sure comment below, and soylent green is fucking people! Moral: "You are judging the spitting image of yourself, except that you are doomed to remain ignorant and judgmental"

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Homosexuals are gay.

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Why do guys love to wrestle? They like to have physical contact with other men.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? I would rather live in a world a chicken's motives would not be questioned.

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I was watching this movie..... its over now.

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What's invisible and smells like a carrot? A rabbit's fart.

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A man walks into a zoo. There is only one animal, a dog. It's a shitzu.

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what do you call a kid without arms and legs? Freak

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My aunt said slow and steady wins the race....... She died in a fire

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Knock Knock Who's There? Your Best friend. Did you forget what I looked like?

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A fast car that's painted red and green...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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