A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it. "I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

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Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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You know what's really funny? Cancer What's funnier than that? The Holocaust Even funnier? Charlie Sheen

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I like big butts and I cannot lie. You don't know that. I may enjoy skinny butts. I may be lying.

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What do you call a man man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? Bob(he is bobbing in the water)

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Q:How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She didn't, she sought help and was able to live a very happy life with a beautiful family in a nice suburb outside of Cincinnati.

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I was going to post some witty jokes, but then I realized they weren't funny.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbi "why the long face?" The rabbi says "to get to the other side." Seeing the puzzled look on the bartender's face, the priest says, "orange you glad he didn't say banana?"

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<=3 penis

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Whats worse than finding a giant spider in your bedroom? Loosing it...

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How are bananas and friends alike? If you peel their skin and eat them

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What is the difference between a bucket of shit and a Jew? The Bucket.

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Roses are Black Violets are Black I am color blind.

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun......he is a 25-year veteran SWAT team officer attempting to arrest two armed robbers that have 5 old ladies hostage.

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From the makers of Call of Duty 1, comes Call of Duty 2.

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What do you call a man with a black book? I don't know.

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What do you call a black man in a truck A driver

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Q: How does a robber get into your house? A: Through a door.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Justin's hair

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what's the fastest way to have someone murder you tell your wife you are cheating on her

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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There is a man who is half black half Jewish. He walking up a hill really fast. What happens to him? Answer: The Jewish side of his body will fall off and the black side will walk away.

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How do you get a Jew in a car? Ask him to get in. How do you get him out? (If they say tell him to get out) Tell him Hitler is driving (If not) Ask him to kindly step out of the vehicle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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