Knock knock. Who's there? Cook Pu. Ok then. Kelvin Yang.

I never asked for this.

Oh...okay, good.

Your momas so fat her doctor put her on a diet plan.

why is john so fat years of over eating

How do you get a Blonde to switch seats with you? Ask her politely.

What did the boy do when he struck out in his little league game? He was very upset and contemplated not playing the game anymore.

25

What do you say to man with no hands. How do you feel.

What's worse than the holocaust? The sun exploding.

It's fun for you and me, that's why they call it OCD It's easy as 1..2.... Hey look a butterfly!

Q: Why didn't the mexican get into the bathtub? A: He was already clean

Nyan cat had pancakes for breakfast.

A lion walks into a barber shop and asks for a haircut and the barber says no then the lion proceeds to kill everyone in the shop

What did Anne Frank say to the Nazis who found her? Please be gentle.

Roses are red Violets are blu Doogie is gay I have no friends

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse

A man and Sasquatch are walking down the shoreline on the eastern coast, the man looks back at the foot prints in the sand, he notices that during the hardest parts of his life, there were only one pair of footprints, while in his easiest moments, he sees two pairs of footprints; the man is disturbed about this and he asks Sasquatch this. "Sasquatch, Although you have always promised to be with me in my life, I see that when I needed you most, you were never there. Why is this Sasquatch?" Sasquatch replies, "HREAAHAHG?!"

A brick bent down to suck my flapjack, Then he got stuck, oh what the unpleasant, This angered the brick, he lay on the grass, he shoved a stick straight up his bellybutton.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To go to the slaughter-house.

Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

What's the difference between a wife and a chef? A chef has the choice to leave the kitchen.

what is big and green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A snooker table

What do you call a guy who has no experience flying a plane? Suicidal

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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