What did the murderer get for Christmas? Executed.

Whats the differense between a pile of dead babies and a Farrari I actually have a Farrari in my garage.

Why did the Jew have very bad gas? He had very rough anal sex and air got stuck up his bum

why did the black boy read a book. Because he had a book report due next week

Why did Helen Keller's cat kill itself? It didn't, I did.

"Why did the chicken cross the road" "why" "to get to the gay guys house" "knock-knock" "who's there?" "The chicken..."

Why did the Asian Cross the road? Because the crossing signal went green!

I can't see my forehead

so there are two muffins. no wait there are three muffins in an oven. actually it was a toaster oven. and they were covered in butter. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh cheese on toast anyone?

Why did the wealthy black man shoplift from the convenience store? He is a kleptomaniac.

What do you call a young child being beating to death with a spiked club? Arousing.

I was at the ocean, and I saw a screaming fish. Then it died.

I like pancakes. I like pancakes. We have no pancakes

There is a bomb. It blows up and kills 26 people.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely to get to a source of food or escape a predator.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick!

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

What is the difference between a mustache, and a pile of dead babies? Mustaches disgust me.

Yes!

what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems show me your boobs

vaginas

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

Why couldn't little Johnny play sports like the rest of the kids? He was diagnosed with polio at the age of 3 and has limited use of his legs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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