- Anti Joke

What do a Penguin, and your best friend have in common? They'll both die if you shoot them in the head.

what do you call a black man on tv? an actor

why did the man jump off the building? to commit suicide.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the bottom of a pit? Whatever his parents named him.

When will racism end? When everyone's dead.

Your mother is so fat that she is highly likely to get heart disease and/or diabetes.

What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexic Assosiation.

Why was the little boy screaming? He was going down a steep drop on a roller coaster.

Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

What's black and white and red all over? A mime lying in a pool of blood.

♪ It's raining. It's pouring. ♪ The old man caught pneumonia and died....

Q: What's worse than finding 1 worm in your apple? A: Finding 2 worms in your apple Q: What's worse than finding 2 worms in your apple? A: The Holocaust Q: What's worse than the Holocaust? A: Finding 3 worms in your apple!

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I'm Color Blind F*CK

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

what do a plane and a mouse have in common? nothing

That awkward moment when... Your mom is a guy.

What did mr smith say when a student asked for math help? ok

How fast do Jews cook? It depends how many you have in the oven at once.

Why did samantha die? Because she had cancer.

I could even argue that having blood on your penis is kinda fun sometimes.

I ponder

What do a Penguin, and your best friend have in common? They'll both die if you shoot them in the head.

what do you call a black man on tv? an actor

why did the man jump off the building? to commit suicide.

Cleveland winning something

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the bottom of a pit? Whatever his parents named him.

When will racism end? When everyone's dead.

Your mother is so fat that she is highly likely to get heart disease and/or diabetes.

What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexic Assosiation.

Why was the little boy screaming? He was going down a steep drop on a roller coaster.

What's black and white and red all over? A mime lying in a pool of blood.

What's 2+2? Gonorrhoea

one day i went to bed

♪ It's raining. It's pouring. ♪ The old man caught pneumonia and died....

Q: What's worse than finding 1 worm in your apple? A: Finding 2 worms in your apple Q: What's worse than finding 2 worms in your apple? A: The Holocaust Q: What's worse than the Holocaust? A: Finding 3 worms in your apple!

Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I'm Color Blind F*CK

Anti Joke

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The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??