(speaking to an orphan) knock, knock who's there not your parents

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Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Captchas.

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What have a blueberry and a raspberry got in common? They both can't ride a skateboard

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Why can't George Washington drive? Because he died!

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Q: What's the difference between a duck? A: An orange.

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What did Jesus REAREAREAREVENAGNCEREALLY SAY when he was walkin on da waterz? And I bless this object which shalth now be known as the surfboard, Amen. Seriously, im a Christian, that sounds kinda cute in a weird way... Like aww, thats why he walked on water, not because of terrifying super powers.

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"Knock, Knock," a man called out. A child threw open the door and peered out at him. "Why didn't you just knock instead of saying 'knock knock'?" Flustered, the man couldn't come up with an answer, and the child promptly closed the door, locked it, and returned to her previous activities.

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Six Jews get on a train. They all safely arrive at their locations.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? because she was SHITFACED!!!!

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Not at all Nero, if humanity itself where better, you would never have had that pain you rather than carry seems to be stuck to you, what you call your armor, sounds more like a cage to me, it is no wonder that you lose faith in those that drag you down while you find peace and hope within yourself by helping them. I believe you got every right to lose hope in humanity at times, in my eyes you have always been much greater than them, you just seem to believe that if you fail at helping others, then you have failed yourself, remember that there are too many people that surrender in this world, that do not want to be helped back on their own feet rather than to be "shown the only way", you said it yourself, monkey see, monkey do is easy, too easy, and you never take the easy way. I am sorry if I copy your methods too much, it might seem to others as if you are chatting with yourself, which is just crazy, insane. silly, lets just say again that you just got a admirer in me, it cant be helped. Does this bother you?

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What do you call love at first sight? A broken heart.

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roses are red violets are blue you know what? im sick and tired of this joke.

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What did the child rapist say to the little boy? I'm going to rape you.

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Why did the fat guy survive the plain crash He didn't he died like everyone else

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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound? I don't know... Does the deaf woman locked in my basement?

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What Does the Duck Say? "Got any grapes?"

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A Irishman walks into a bar... he suffers severe head injuries.

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Why did the black family cry? Tyler Perry died

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What is blue and angry? Mr Johnston wearing his green dress. I'm colour blind but he came round to my way of thinking in the end.

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Q: Why did the boy fall off his bike? A: Someone threw a refridgerator at his head.

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What does Pontiac stand for? Nothing. Pontiac's were discontinued

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't.

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if dave has 50 candy bars and eats 45 what does he have? diabeties.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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