Why did Doctor Who visit Ancient Greece? Because has a time machine and has that ability

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What does Ke$ha feel like when getting up in the morning? Shit because she has a nasty hangover.

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Why we in a Falln tank!!!? Be cause the plane exploded!!!!!!!

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Womens rights.

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What do you call a penis without hair? Apple sause

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why wouldnt sally stop spinning? she was trapped in a washing machine

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Whats the differense between a pile of dead babies and a Farrari I actually have a Farrari in my garage.

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so there are two muffins. no wait there are three muffins in an oven. actually it was a toaster oven. and they were covered in butter. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh cheese on toast anyone?

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What's the difference between basketball and an elephant? One's a sport and one's a large African animal.

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Why did the cow have a pain in his stomach. It has testicular cancer.

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why do elephants drink so much? to try to forget.

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Q, whats worst then being trapped in a house with a ghost. A, being trapped in a house with thirteen ghosts.

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A man is approached by a mysterious character in the streets, offering to tell him a dark and amazing tale. The man declines and walks away.

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What's the anonymous name for vampire hunters? The KKK.

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What is Megan Fox's middle name? Denise

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How did the fat woman survive the car accident? She had on her seat belt.

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How do you survive the plague? you dont.

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Friend: "Hey man! Did you hear about the kid who bought the last hamster at the pet shop? Other friend: "No..." Friend: "Oh, well he shot himself last night."

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What did the man say after falling off a bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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Why doesn't Gary like me? Because I killed his family and fed them to him.

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WUT SMELLS ? my poo

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A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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What did the person with down syndrome do? He mumbled for a while, chewed on his thumb, fell flat on his face, and died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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