What happened when a saxophone hit Sally? She had a concussion.

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Where did Lil' Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, a bus hit it half way along and it died instantly.

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So there are two skunks in a bath tub. One of the skunks says to the other, "Would you please pass the soap?", and the other skunk says, "What do you think I am, a talking radio?!"

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24

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Q: Why don't Jewish cannibals like Germans A: Because it gives them gas

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Why did the student fail his test? Because he has AIDS

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Tell her something that doesn't make any sense at all.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.

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What do you call a bunch of white people running down a hill? Avalanche What do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill? Mud slide What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill? Jailbreak

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How do you know if there's an elephant in your fridge? The fridge is broken and the elephant has mauled your dog

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What do a bench and a mexican have in common? (don't worry it's not racist) You'll find both in a park. (I lied)

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What ended my last relationship? Oncoming traffic.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? You hit it in the face with an axe.

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What is the best place to get watermelons and fried chicken? A Watermelon grove and a popeyes and/or KFC

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whats long and hard and full of seamen a penis

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Why did Peter go to the dentist? Because he had to go to the dentist!

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How do you make a plummer angry? Kill his family

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Yo Momma is so fat that she is heavier than most other women her age

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A duck walks into a bar he buys a drink and says To the bartender "Put it on my bill." the duck is charged With $800.

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jack and jill climbed up the hill but they were bagels

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luke moore cant pull it back

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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