How fast do Jews cook? It depends how many you have in the oven at once.

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What do a Penguin, and your best friend have in common? They'll both die if you shoot them in the head.

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Why did samantha die? Because she had cancer.

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What did mr smith say when a student asked for math help? ok

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if dave has 50 candy bars and eats 45 what does he have? diabeties.

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Q: Why did the boy fall off his bike? A: Someone threw a refridgerator at his head.

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what do a plane and a mouse have in common? nothing

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't.

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What does Pontiac stand for? Nothing. Pontiac's were discontinued

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A Mexican and a Black man are in a car. Who's driving? The police officer.

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one day i went to bed

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhoea

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do you know that joke? hmm no.. yaa life!

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a man walks into a prostitute.

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How do you get to pigs in a pen? Move them.

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I can't remember if I have Azheimer's or not.

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Marrage s like a card game. You start off with 2 hearts and 1 diamond. You end up wishing for a club and a spade!

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What did the dog say to the mouse? Cat

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Doctor: "I'm sorry, but your son has Hepatitis B. Asian Parent: "Why he has Hepatitis B? Why he not get the Hepatitis A plus?"

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly shits on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Roses are red Here's something new Violets are violet NOT F**KING BLUE

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime lying in a pool of blood.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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My sister had a lemonade stand once. And one time, she spilled.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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