How do you stop a train? You don't, unless your the conductor in which case you would hit the brake.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

The knocking didn’t cease. It grew harder as the voice grew louder. “Let me in! Let me in! LET ME IN!” The knocking grew so fierce it could have shattered the door. Tears leaked from her eyes. “What do I do,” she thought “should I open the door?” The knocking was more than she could bear. “I know you’re in there, Kat.” it said. Her stomach twisted, her breath caught in her throat, and tears now streamed down her face. “Go away!” she shouted finally. “Let me in!” it screamed in response. “Leave me alone!” she cried. The voice and the knocking echoed in her head, making her more nauseous than before. Reaching for the lock hesitantly, she sucked up her tears and held her breath, unlocking the door and throwing it open. Nothing was there. The tree stood in the yard unmoving, no wind. Nothing. She shut the door, shaking in fear. With the click of the lock, the room grew cold. Goose-bumps covered her skin. “Thank you for letting me in.” a voice whispered behind her.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

four nazis are walking towards this jew. as soon as the first nazi came in arms reach of the jew he and his friends started to maliciously hug the jew.......................................and then 20 years later they killed his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

roses are red violets are blue i have alziemers what are we talking about again

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A handicapp walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did the puppy poop? he had too

thumb_up thumb_down +15

It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the red cat say to his owner? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats easier to fit in a trunk, babies or concrete bricks? Babies because you can hit them with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why are black people so good at basketball? because they all can run jump steal and shoot

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +13

roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme but this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +13

the danced cus they were young, they danced cus they were free, but mostly the danced cus they needed to pee

thumb_up thumb_down +13

which sex position produces the ugliest children? go ask ur mom

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock, knock. Who's there? I am.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the turtle cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit a talking Muffin."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock It's the police, im afraid your wife has been killed in a horrible car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a black midget with no legs and has 11 fingers? A human being

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is black, often hung by a rope on a tree, and something white people like to play with? A tire swing.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the chicken sad because it lost it's family

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the zuccini fly? I was in an acid trip.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops