Billy and Jeff wanted to go on an adventure so they planned a safari in Africa. Everything was going as planned until they were in a sticky situation: whether to cross a narrow bridge above the crocodiles or not. Billy tells Jeff "Hey whats the worst thing that can happen?" Jeff was diagnosed with cancer and died the next morning.

What do you call a black guy and a mexican guy running down a hill? Two good friends enjoying the countryside together.

ahhh finally removed the splinter I've had for quite some time now. Hopefully that was the last one I'll get for a while...touch wood

Why the boy doesn't get any birthday presents? he has cancer.

Where do you live? In a house

25

There was a big guy he was called Mac. So Mc Donalds turned him into a burger

you: "hey, is your refrigerater running?" random, confusded individual: "yeah" you: "oh."

What did the bodybuilder do when someone stole his wallet? Ab workouts.

Why does one not simply walk into Mordor? Mordor doesn't really exist and thus is physically impossible to walk into, or enter by any means really.

How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

Knock Knock trick or treats? here is the candies, have fun kids!

What do you call a man man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? Bob(he is bobbing in the water)

Q:How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She didn't, she sought help and was able to live a very happy life with a beautiful family in a nice suburb outside of Cincinnati.

I like big butts and I cannot lie. You don't know that. I may enjoy skinny butts. I may be lying.

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbi "why the long face?" The rabbi says "to get to the other side." Seeing the puzzled look on the bartender's face, the priest says, "orange you glad he didn't say banana?"

Whats worse than finding a giant spider in your bedroom? Loosing it...

<=3 penis

What is the difference between a bucket of shit and a Jew? The Bucket.

How are bananas and friends alike? If you peel their skin and eat them

Roses are Black Violets are Black I am color blind.

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it. "I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

You know what's really funny? Cancer What's funnier than that? The Holocaust Even funnier? Charlie Sheen

Why was the ginger walking around in bare feet? He had no sole.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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