What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing

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What's the difference between a red ball and a blue ball? There both blue but the red one

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Q: What did the alcoholic get for his Birthday?\ A: A Jail Sentence

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*******A CELL JOKE******* Mommy Ribosome and Daddy Mitochondria are watching baby nucleus play around in the cytoplasm, when all the sudden baby nucleus falls down and breaks its cell wall. Mommy ribosome is like freaking out like, "OH NO< WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WE NEED TO TAKE HER TO THE E.R.". Then Daddy Mitochondria says, "The smooth ER or the rough ER???"

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Why did the dog bite justin beiber? Why not?

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A pedophile walks into a Nursery. He get's arrested.

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what do you call a bee that makes milk? A BOObee

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do.

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i heard something so funny it made me crap my pants you were a mistake

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whats the difference between justin beiber and a gay guy? both guys and girls like gay guys

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A blond and a brunette are on the moon. The brunette says to the blond "I'm glad that independent company's are taking the job of American space travel."

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What did the deaf person say to the comedian? ... ... ... ... I'm sorry, did you say something?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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what is the difference between coke and pepsi? -they are competing soft drinks made by different brands

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"knock knock" "whos there?" there was no response from the other side but the knocking continued, the homeowner felt distressed so phoned the police...

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knock, knock! No answer, they probably can't hear you, use the doorbell.

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.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

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a chinese wompus came out of the basement.

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Has anyone seen that clown that hides from gay people in Tesco's

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Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car> "Get in the car."

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What happened when the man asked the girl if he could borrow her pencil? Nothing, she was deaf

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What's funny about the old man who got stabbed? Nothing... you're a sick person!

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Why did the golfer wear two pair of trousers? Because he's a wanker

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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