What do you get when you cross sodium citrate, citric acid, benzyl alcohol, monoethanolamine, sodium benzoate, gylcol disterate, FD&C Yellow #5, ammonium lauryl sulfate, methylisothiazolinone, fragrances/perfumes, FD&C Blue #1, sodium chloride, zinc pyrithione, methylchloroisothiazolinone, ammonium xylenesulfonate, ammonium laureth sulfate, cetyl alcohol, cocamide, guar hydropropyltrimonium chloride, 1-Decene, homopolymer, hydrogenated, trimethylolpropane tricaprylate and water? Head & Shoulders Dandruff Shampoo for Fine-Oily Hair

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Why didn't peyton manning's grand mom call him after his game? She died of throat cancer 5 years ago

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What's funnier than a dead baby? Everything.

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Why didn't the black guy where a seat belt? I don't know but he should've because hes dead.

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What do you call a dog eating a dead dog? A hungry dog

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captcha: all yer base

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How do u know a black woman is pregnant? When she pulls out a tampon it has no cotton on it.

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Why did the skeleton stay home from the party He was buried in a coffin underground and, as a matter of fact, wasn't actually invited

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Did you hear about the guy who got his entire LEFT side ripped off? He's dead.

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how many jews can you fit in a buick? six if you squeeze 4 in the back

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what did the ginger say to the other ginger? I dont now i dont speak GINGER!!!

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Why couldent the boy pick up the bunny? He had severe muscular distrophy, and couldent even lift a spoon to his mouth. let alone a bunny

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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*******A CELL JOKE******* Mommy Ribosome and Daddy Mitochondria are watching baby nucleus play around in the cytoplasm, when all the sudden baby nucleus falls down and breaks its cell wall. Mommy ribosome is like freaking out like, "OH NO< WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WE NEED TO TAKE HER TO THE E.R.". Then Daddy Mitochondria says, "The smooth ER or the rough ER???"

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what do you call a blonde that spends fifteen thousand dollars at a bar? an alchoholic.

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What's the difference between a cow and a fat person. Nothing

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Two birds fly onto a bench. They cherp 3 times and sit there enjoying the nice weather.

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Luck is not real. But the dismembered body in my basement is.

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Q. If your rowing a canoe up a tree, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? A. None because snakes don't have armpits.

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A man is on a date. His philandering causes a bitter divorce.

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What do you call a black man with gold teeth? Cruchie.

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Roses are Black Violets are Black I am color blind.

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How do you keep black people from hanging around in your front yard? Hang them in the back..

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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