Why are you angry dude? I can't see my forehead

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why was little jimmy sad? he had a frog stapled to his mouth why did little jimmy drop his ice cream cone? he got hit by a bus why did little jimmy fall of the swingset? he didnt have any arms what did little jimmy want for Christmas? parents what did he get for Christmas? cancer knock knock whos there? not jimmy

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says why the long face. The horse, unable to understand English shits on the floor and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Kid: mom what happens when grandpa farts? Mom: well son... Everyone leaves the room

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do we achieve world peace? KILL EVERYBODY. Nobody can fight when they're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A horse walked into a bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse then replied, "Well my wife is dying of cancer, my mother is a drug addict, and my two kids are in the hospital for 3rd degree burns."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Do you like impressions? Why? That's Socrates

thumb_up thumb_down +16

More mindfuck "government hypnosis edition": What can doctors possibly do in order for you to wait enough for them to come to help you? They call you "their PATIENT!" Moral: So be patient and wait, oh thee brainwashed.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did my wife say when I asked her to pick up some milk on her way home from work? OK

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you get when Chuck Norris meets Chuck Norris? A bad joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between a Justin Beiber concert and a hedgehog? With a hedgehog, the pricks are on the outside, but in a Justin Beiber concert, the pricks are on the inside.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did the puppy poop? he had too

thumb_up thumb_down +16

your mums so fat she has to use a matress as a tampon

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's worse than dropping you ice-cream cone? Signing your post on Anti-joke.com

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between a dead baby and an apple? I don't cum on an apple before I eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Sometimes I hope into bed and pretend I'm a carrot!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do gay guys eat? Normal food like every other human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the surrealist go to the doctor? Knock Knock.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

acualy is dolan

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Billy start crying? Because he was abandoned at a young age- and was bullied since childhood in the orphanage.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops