Best joke: Okay so I got a joke for ya but it is pretty long so bare with me please. First off, you must have heard a knock knock joke before and you must have a huge sense of humor. So this guy walks into a bar and orders fried chicken wings with hot fudge and vinilla drizzled all over it with a cherry topping. The bartender says, "We don't have that." The guy thinks of anything else he'd like and says, "How about a bucket of turkey and jalapeños?" The bartender looks puzzled and once again says, "This is a bar..." The guy is now paranoid and says, "Fine, I'll just have a thick, juicy, chicken thigh but please remove any excess skin on it, it's unhealthy and I'm on a diet." The bartender slowly removes his apron and walks out of the bar shouting, "I QUIT!" The guy sits there on the barstool laughing as a lady bartender comes to him. "So sorry sir, what would you like? From our bar that we have available?" The guy stares at her, squinting. "By any chance do you know if you have the punch line to this 'joke' because I sure dont." Slowly the woman removes her apron and walks out of the bar. The guy grins, walks out, and says, "job well done today. Where to tomorrow?"

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2 tomatoes walk across a road tomato 1 gets hit by a car tomato 2 gets confused, because tomatoes don't have legs and therefore cannot "walk across a road" And furthermore, a tomato does not have a brain, and thus cannot get confused.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue I like poo F*** on You By drew bolton

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matty russel are you on here

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what did johnny's mom do for his 50th birthday? she died

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Obama getting elected in 2012.

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What is white and stands in the corner? A refridgerator who has been very bad...

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What do you get when you mix a dog with a pool table? I don't know.

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"I like my women like I like my spare tires, in the trunk of my car." -Paul Alangadan

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What is matt dalys favorite thing in the world? penis

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Jesus once got nailed to a cross, beaten and gave his life in order to prove he was immortal. Safe to say, people remain impressed even 2000 years later. Moral: Lol, hey, its quite a feat, but what life did he give if he was immortal? Jesus is a okay dude though, he stole donkeys from stables (for transport) and when his disciples asked if stealing was bad he replied: God will provide for them. Awesome.

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There's a plane with 5000 bricks in it, one falls out. How many bricks are on the plane now? 4999 How do you get an elephant in the fridge? U open the fridge,put the elephant in and close the fridge. How do you get a deer in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out and close the fridge. A lion is trowing a party and the whole animal kingdom shows up, what animal isn't there? The deer cause he's still in the fridge. A little old lady is walking threw an alligator and snake invested swamp. *The snakes and alligators eat her (wrong answer) The brick falls on her head

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A chronic hemophiliac walks into a bar. He cuts his leg and bleeds to death.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <<

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The Pope

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What do you call a fat indian boy Eeeeeeeh fatty boy

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Dylan Hodge fingered himself. Hah.

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Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber? Lady Gaga has a penis.

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A black guy walks into his bar. So he pays his tab and couldn't have been more coureious.

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Knock Knock Who's There? No One No One Who? ...

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How do you protect yourself from fire? Kill an orphan and nail its bones to your skin.

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Why can't Jimmy talk? He's dead.

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What did the little gril with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer

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what is the difference between a park bench and a black guy? the park bench is an inanamite object and doesn't have feelings

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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