the police there was several calls from people in the sarounding area who heard screaming from ur basement

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Like why period? Why can't mother nature just call and be like ''Wassup girl? You're not pregnant, I'll talk to you next month.''

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? no eye deer! -jpow

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What is Lil Wayne's first name? Wayne

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was Friday night (or Halloween or St. Patty's Day) and the chicken was at a party. He got totally drunk, and then got the bright idea that it would be okay to drive home. On a rural two-lane highway, his vehicle careened into the oncoming traffic lane, and then the ditch, thus crossing the road. Fortunately, he walked away with only a few scratches. However, he was cited for wreckless driving, and got a DUI as well.

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Why was the white man rich and the black man poor? Because when the white man was 11 and he didn't have a job because 11 year olds don't get hired, because its not legal, he use to pick up pennies. And when the black man was 11 he got a job mowing lawns and ended up being a lawyer graduate and spent the rest of his life paying off his school loan. The white man lived in the 70's and the black man lived in he twentieth century.

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What has four wheels and smells like an asshole? YOU.

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What's worse than a dead baby? 2 dead babies

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven was a terrorist.

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What do you call 5 of my friends and 5 of your friends hanging out together? I don't know. I don't have any friends.

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Why did the autopilot of a plane malfunction even though the pilots had engaged the switch? The pilots had taken manual control. I lied about the switch.

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If you and Chuck Norris have five dollars you both have the same amount of money.

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Roses are Red, Blues are Violets, Have I Dyslexia, F**k.

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Why did the black guy flunk out of school? Because his socio-economic conditions and his lack of support from his parents didn't provide optimal learning conditions.

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Wanna know something funny? Your face

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Yo' Mama's so old that her age is over the average age of most people.

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-Can I ask you one question? -Yes. -Thank you.

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What do you call a hispanic and black man flying a plane? A pilot and his co-pilot.

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Who is the worst teacher ever? Mrs. Thompson

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Why did the child cross the road? Her parents were abusing her and she wanted to get hit by a car.

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What's the difference between Mike Tyson and Anna Nicole Smith? Mike Tyson's not dead.

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A women in her kitchen hears a thud outside. Her husband fell off the roof.

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What did the snow flake which could talk say to the other snow flake which could talk None of us are the same.

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How do you find a date? Look on the calendar!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops