knock knock ... no one was in

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I like my coffee how I like my women. Without a penis. - Blake Woodman

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Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

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your mom is so old. she can legally get a senior discount

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What's worse than a 15 year old getting hit by a car? Adam Johnson

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What does Tupac and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead but most of the people think they aren't.

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The bear woke up after his long hibernation of the winter. "Boy, am I hungry!" The bear wandered around and ate some berries. "These blackberries are too bitter and unripe for my taste, I'll go eat something else." He stumbled upon a honeybee hive and took some honey out and ate it. He was swarmed and stung by many of those bees. "That wasn't my favorite batch of honey, I'm still pretty hungry, let me go find some other food. He came across a cabin in the woods. "There maybe some food in there." To some, this was known as the Northern Vermont Massacre. It was a tragic happening. The 7 membered family, the Hernandez family, all died that day. The bear chase all of the adult and children and the house and brutally ate them.

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The internet is the most terrible fucking place in existence.

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Have you heard the joke about the Swedish surgeon who found a frog in his patient's stomach? Yes, you've told me it before.

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How did the girl die? 25.

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Your Mom.

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what do you call an ocelot with ebola? an ocelot that might die soon.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them

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How do you kill a retard? Pour gasoline on him and light him on fire.

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Whats green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A golf course

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how do you kill a blonde? the way you would kill anyone, here are some examples gun knife noose or orange. wait wtf who kills someone with an orange

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Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, i'd put my penis in your mouth

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Why did the dog eat poop?

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What did the blonde say to the man when he asked her what time it was? 6:34 pm

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

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What is the most important thing to have during a zombie apocalypse? Oxygen.

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Two penguins were taking a bath. One said "pass the soap." The second penguin replied, "What do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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Why 't the blonde dial 911? Because phones haven't had dials on them for at least 40 years or so. She can however punch it in on her keypad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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