Two men walk into a bar. It turns out the bar was a lever and set off a bomb. They both died.

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Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

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Maturity is a virtue.

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What do you call a hobo that lives a in a box. A hobo

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What did the cat say to the elephant? Meow.

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A grasshopper hops into a bar and orders a drink. "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" exclaims the bartender. "You have a Melanoplus Differentialis?" asks the grasshopper. "Yes."

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Why was the T-Rex so bad at math? Cause it was stupid

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So two clowns walk into a bar... . . . . . . . . . . They died

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will have her institutionalized as soon as they find her.

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Cat got your tongue? Punch it in the face, and retrieve your tongue.

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Why do black people enjoy watermelon? Because it tastes good.

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What's black and twelve inches long? A Maglite.

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Why did the baby fall out the window? Because the parents left the window open by the crib.

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what is fat, sweaty, and italian? Italians

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What's the difference between Rebecca black and your mom? Capitalize Black.

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What do you call it when someone walks on another person's head? It depends. Face up, fetish. Face down, hate crime.

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It's a man's 100th birthday, and as one of his last wishes he wants to go skydiving. Unfortunately, due to his crippling arthritis, he was unable to pull the rip cord on his parachute and plummeted to his death.

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What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 is your mom

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A Holocaust survivor.

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once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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What do you call a man with a cigar in his mouth. A person with bad health and dirty teeth.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Little Davie was a kid with no arms and legs and one day his friends Came to his house and knocked on the door and asked for little Davie And asked if he wanted to come play baseball..Little Davie replied "I'd Love to but I have no arms or legs" his friends say we know that..We were Just needing a second base..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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