Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely to get to a source of food or escape a predator.

I like pancakes. I like pancakes. We have no pancakes

I was at the ocean, and I saw a screaming fish. Then it died.

Why did the wealthy black man shoplift from the convenience store? He is a kleptomaniac.

An Iraqi, an American and an Irishman get on a plane. They all enjoy the in-flight amenities, agree that the food was sub-standard and arrive at their destinations safely.

so there are two muffins. no wait there are three muffins in an oven. actually it was a toaster oven. and they were covered in butter. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh cheese on toast anyone?

What is the difference between a mustache, and a pile of dead babies? Mustaches disgust me.

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick!

Yes!

How do you save a black man from drowning? You throw him a flotation device.

roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems show me your boobs

Why did the little girl fail her test? Because she had mental retardation.

Q: What did the man say before he was stabbed? A: "What are you gonna do, stab me?"

What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Unless it's muscular dystrophy.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

What happend to the gay kid that walked into iran. He got shot and killed ????

vaginas

i like pie.

What do you do if your computer breaks: Go on your phone. What do you do if your phone breaks: Go on you iPod What do you do if your iPod breaks: Then your screwed and you should get a Job and learn not to break things.

Knock Knock Whos there? Jonny Jonny who? Jonny tsunami, hope you can swim Japan

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind and is a women, who are notoriously bad drivers.

the love boat

Men don't cum twice easily. That's why Jesus hasn't been around for awhile.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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