What's the difference between a whale and an elephant

Chicken penis.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

A man walks into a bar He is STD positive.

A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

Why does batman wear a mask? Because if he didn't every enemy would know who he was, go to his house a brutally murder him.

A large man goes into a restaurant and places his order The waiter asks if he would like the weight watchers menu He says no because he doesnt care about his weight

What did Hellen Keller call her dog? Kamikaze-go, because he was an Akita from Japan and that was his name.

Why is your dad gay? Because he takes an enjoyment in a mans dick

What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

My mate mated with my mate's mate. mated of course meaning fucked.

Why was the black man sent to prison? He was wrongfully accused of a crime which is a fine example of how flawed today's justice system is.

Grab your Taco, you've pulled a dyslexic Mexican

What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

How many jews can fit into a car? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, 6 million in the ash tray

A fat guy runs a marathon. He dies of obesity and dehydration.

What did the orphan wish for Christmas during world war II? Parents What did he get? Bombed.

Micheal Jackson walks into a bar?

What's a fail with a bowl on its head, a 30 year old, and a 5 year old at the same time? Justin Beiber

One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

Who is blue and smells like green paint? Matt Daly

Roused are red violets are blue I just s*** in my own poo

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was hit by a bus.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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