What do you get when you cross a canary and a lawnmower? Nothing. A canary is a small bird, and a lawnmower is an inanimate object. Any procreation of this sort would likely produce no offspring.

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Why did the egg crossed the road? If X = chicken and C = the speed of light, then 2 to the power of the road which is 12 feet across times X/C = egg

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A mexican pedophile stalks a child home. He molests him.

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"Doctor, Doctor I think I am a pair of curtains" The man was swiftly referred to the psychiatric ward.

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What's green,has 4 legs and lives in a tree? A pool table

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Why did the lightbulb go out? It was on too long

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why did sally fall off the swing? because she had no arms. knock knock? who's there? not sally.

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What happened when the Texan saw snow for the first time? He said "Oh my goodness this is cool"

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Batman and Superman switched sidekicks. Superman didn't want Robin.

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What is the quickest way to a mans heart? Through his chest with a stick.

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Waht do chinease people and gambling machines have in common? They both say chink chink chink chink chink chinck

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What do you look for in a woman? a pulse.

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roses are blood violets are veins vampires are crazy and you are insane

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Roses are red I have a phone,no texts me am forever alone~The Jokers

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Mama Bear and Papa Bear were in court getting a divorce and the judge offered Baby Bear a choice of which parent to live with. "Do you want to live with your mother?" the judge asks. "No! She beats me." answers the baby bear. "OK, then you can live with your father." says the judge. "No! He beats me too!" cries baby bear. So Baby Bear was placed in a foster home.

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What did batman do before getting into his batmobile? - Look for the keys.

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Breast cancer.

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A mans opinion.

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A man walks into work and massacres 20 due to a mental illness.

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What does a baby sound like being cooked in the microwave. I don't know I was to busy masterbating.

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If your uncle helped you off An horse, would you help your uncle jack off an horse?

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A man violently raped a small child. Unfortunately the child had aids and gave them to the man.

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She is so fast We call her Email Instead of Emily...

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When I get aroused I get a solid snake

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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