Why did the Jew wear a beanie while playing soccer? Because he shaved his head

thumb_up thumb_down +6

This is not a joke

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the Ocean say to the Sky? Nothing, it just waved.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bucket of poop. The Mexican is a human the bucket of poop is an object filled bodily wastes.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did you insult me and then punch me in the face? The hell if you care anymore, I killed you straight after. Neo-Nero. (Rest in peace Nero7 better known as The Moral Man, I hope I can one day live up to your greatness.) Moral: "Keep your spirits up, we are all going to die sometime, but life means nothing if we lose faith in ourselves and each other" Moral 2: "Nero Septimus, that will be my first and last moral that made a figment of fucking sense, if you are watching from whatever comes from life, I know that this is what you would have done, but just so you know and always wanted for us that followed you, I am doing this for my own goddamn fucking self, respects... Now if your ghost is still watching, get the fuck out of my room you damn cripple, and know that your arm is somewhere in the basement because its so goddamn bad ass that it fucking freaks me out, and so fucking heavy that I think you where some sort of superhuman, now gtfo, as you taught us, we cant focus on the goddamn afterlife, if we are gonna get the best out of life and the present, adios amigo"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a woman and a car? A woman is merely a useful object, whereas a car deserves love, care, and respect.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I just flew here from Cleveland, and boy are my arms tired! The people on either side of me were hogging the armrests, so I had to kind of tuck my arms up behind my head and it was very uncomfortable.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A Frenchman stays and fights

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Dead babies and disabled kids. Jews, mexicans and black people. Hitler and prostitutes. Sex sex sex sex sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A Black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder and the bar tender says " thats something weird you got there". The parrot says "yeah i found it on the street".

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A black man went to jail while a white man received $200 dollars. They were playing a friendly game of monopoly.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you kill half of Mexico? You use nuclear weapons in major cities.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A caterpillar walks into a bar. I don't know how he opened the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why does Spongebob go to work? Because he's ready.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

knock knock who's there? i eat mop I eat mop who?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is the difference between a brick and a ginger? The entirety of their chemical make up and physical appearance.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What do you call a Deer with no eyes? A: No ideer. Q; What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? A: Still no ideer.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do u catch a polar bear u cut a hole in the ice put peas around the hole and when the bear comes to take a pea u kick it in the ice hole

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the man jump off the building? to commit suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why was the chinese man so good at math it was his favorite subject

thumb_up thumb_down +4

1: Ask if I'm a truck. 2: Uh... Are you a truck. 1: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock Who's there? Not Michael Jackson!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops