A blind man walks past a fish market, pauses, takes in a big sniff, and says, "Good morning ladies!" to the women walking by wearing too much perfume.

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A chronic hemophiliac walks into a bar. He cuts his leg and bleeds to death.

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Leave her alone...

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What do you call a cow climbing a tree? Amazing. How many cows have you seen climbing trees?

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I love results day! for every A* I get 30 pounds! everything else I cut myself.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Here is an opposite. Black Santa Claus.

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In Soviet Russia, the political system was very different than it is today.

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How would you punish Helen Keller? Make her read a basketball.

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what happens when chuck norris does a push up. he pushes himself up

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How did the blond become a pilot? By attending flight school, graduating, applying to an airline to which she subsequently was hired to, taking frequent training courses, and beginning work.

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What's 9+10? 19

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What did the blonde do when her car broke down? Made a Facebook status about then called animal control.

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They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.

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Police Report: A 100 year old man was beaten to death on his centennial birthday. Sources claim to say he was "getting his birthday punches"

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names

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My life :(

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Two birds fly onto a bench. They cherp 3 times and sit there enjoying the nice weather.

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Nicole: Shove it where the sun don't shine! Katlyn: I'm richer than you! Nicole: Shut your frickin' mouth! Katlyn: You'll be bankrupt! (This conversation was recorded while Nicole and Katlyn were playing Monopoly. They both died in a car accident later that day...)

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Why did the kid fall over? He was hit by a car

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so there are 3 people who have heard of this magical cliff; theyre names are harry, dick, and joe. how the cliff works is that when you jump off you turn into whatever you say as you jump. first harry jumps off and yells plane, he turns into a plane and flys off. next dick jumps off and yells bird he turns into a bird and flys off. finally joe steps up to the cliff as he was walking he trips and falls as hes falling he yells HARRY DICK he than hits the ground and dies. everyone mourned for such a well respected individual.

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Your grandma and your mom drove of a cliff, who survived? Both of them they didn't drive off a cliff

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when chuck norris plays call of duty, his only perk is ghost pro.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops