how do you make a mailman mad? you sleep with his wife

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A young boy walks into a bar and asks for directions or a map. The bartender takes him into a backroom and gives him a map he just happened to have. The boy continues on his way and the bartender is happy that he did a good deed.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the woman out of the kitchen? She was at her mothers funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar, they manage to have a delightful evening, despite their religious differences.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Three blondes walk into a bar. I prematurely ejaculate.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Worst joke ever

thumb_up thumb_down +12

There are 100 men enjoying a cruise to celebrate an important contract going through at their place of employment. The boat then suffers a major malfunction and tragically sinks to the bottom of the ocean, miles from any land masses. Not a single man died, how is this possible? They all used the lifeboats supplied on the boat and followed the standard procedure to deal with such a crisis.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

So, a guy sees a guy, and asks that guy if he's seen a guy who knew this guy who saw this guy who killed this guy, who knew a guy who is Barack Obama's best friend. Oh wait, Barack Obama doesn't have any friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a bus on the way over.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the Jew say the Black man after their meal? "Don't worry, I'll pay the bill."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between a water melon and a baby? One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other's just a water melon.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's sad about three black men driving over a cliff?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

In Soviet Russia it is normally colder than america and most people speak russian.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do 5 gay teenagers walk? In 'One Direction"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Yo mamas so tan she might get skin cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the man full? He ate a meal.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why does it take women to cum slower than men? Who cares

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why do Vampires Sparkle in the Sunlight? They don't read a proper Vampire Novel and see for yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Hey i just met u And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met u

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is the biggest fictional book ever made? Either the Bible, or the Dictionary.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the fish swim away from the boat when the fishermen put him back in the water? Because he obviously wasn't gonna get back in the boat.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the child rapist say to the little boy? I'm going to rape you.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the Ocean say to the Sky? Nothing, it just waved.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

So there are 5 people on a plane the president, a movie star, and man who is on the verge of making world peace, the smartest man in the world, and the pope the piolt has a heart atack at and the plane will crash soon there are only 4 parachutes. So the first is Obama and he saysI won a Nobel piece prize and I run American see ya later and he takes the parachute next Steven hawking says sory pope Im taking this because I don't believe in God and black holes are cool so he takes the parachute and jumps out. Next Charlie Sheen says I need to entertain people and keep the drug dealers in business so he. Takes the parachute and jumps out. Then Francis turns to the hippie and says if you achive world peace it may help eliminate some poverty so you take the last paratute and jump out then the hippie says in return no its OK Steven Hawking took my back back. When they land they decide to serch for Steven's body and they find nothing. You see Steven Hawking had taken his own paratute with him and took the Hippies backpack to sell it and make some money

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops