A priest, a rapist, and a pedophile walk into a bar. That was just the first person.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Two birds fly onto a bench. They cherp 3 times and sit there enjoying the nice weather.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Penis

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Who is the girl that has had sex with over 10 guys? Georgia Hidi

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Me:hey paul did you see that story on the news? Paul:ya i did thats really crazy!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead. John rolls his eyes at sam very dissapointedly then proceeds to go home. The next day Sam phones John excitedly telling him he traded his Green day tickets for Oasis tickets, a smile appears on Johns and Sams faces, not that they can see each other, they both then put the phone down. An African died. Green Day are a bad band.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

When was George Washington born? Who the hell knows. He's older than dirt.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats worse than getting raped by a cow? Getting raped by two cows.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was Soren gay? Because he likes to eat men's Penises!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walks into a bar, sits down and the bartender comes over and asks him what he wants to drink. The man replies, "Carrot Juice."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was the Mexican socially inept. Because he hadn't recieved a good education

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick, and could not speak during the last few weeks of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A homeless man walks into a house He is invited to a lovely lunch and then beaten to death

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did a fireman say to his wife right after they got ran over by a stampede of bulls? nothing.... they were dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Did you hear about the man with 3 balls? He liked tennis

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man is on a date. His philandering causes a bitter divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

oooh look a banshee

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q) Why is there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest A) Real Joke : Because the parrots-eat-em-all

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a black priest who's name is John? Father John

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it. "I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I milked the cow, but no gas came out.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got run over by a semi and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops