*knock knock* "who's there?" "me, the person who knocked..duh"

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look at this bag of air it has some chips in it

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo.

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Paul and Steve, Siamese twins attached at the head, come to a fork in the road they are traveling. Paul wants to go left, while Steve wants to go right. They pause for a moment to figure out which direction would be the best choice for the both of them. They decide to go Paul's way, and as they continue to travel in silence, they try to imagine what life as a self-reliant individual would be like.

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why did sally fall off the swing? because she was a fish.

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how much is a microwave full of dead babies? a fridge full of dead puppies.

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Once upon a time, I was a Muslim.

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Yo' momma's so fat, she has an increased risk of cardiovascula disease and may die.

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Why was the man sweating? He was stuck in a burning house.

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(This is a joke made up by the young son of a friend of mine many years ago. It is still one of my favorite jokes.) Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idear.

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wanna here a dirty joke? Suree A white horse fell in a mud puddle dum dumdum dum duuuuuuummmm

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There is a bomb. It blows up and kills 26 people.

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Your mother was a hamster, And your father smelt of ElderBerries!

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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What's worse than waking up next to an ugly girl? Waking up, sealed in a coffin which is floating on a raft traversing through shark-infested waters. Oh, and the raft is on fire.

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Why didnt Santa give the little Girl her Pony? Santas not real.

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Why did Sally flunk math? Because she didn't achieve the passing grade which is 60 percent or greater. She might need some tutoring in order to master the concept of the lessons to which she has difficulty solving.

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Knock, knock. Whose there? Tits. Tits, who? SUCK EM'!

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What's funny about using a shake weight? It resembles masturbating with a penis.

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What do you call a guy who can't get a girlfriend? Me.

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What is Megan Fox's middle name? Denise

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Nobody enjoys your company. Nobody likes your work. Nobody loves you. There is no person who's name is legitimately nobody.

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How do you make a Russian baby cry? Punch it in the face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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