Why did the mentally handicapped kid fail his math test? Because he didn't study.

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Whats the difference between babies and basketballs? You cant unload a truck of basketballs with a pitchfork.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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What is yellow and has thick, shiny fur? A banana. I lied about the fur.

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What do you call a black man in space? An astronaut.

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A straight guy, a straight girl and a bisexual guy walk into a bar. The bisexual guy is twice as likely to find a partner from a purely statistical point of view.

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Justin Bieber is a good singer.

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A guy walks into a toilet store and there are 3 left 1is silver 1 is wood and 1 talks he took the one that talks. the next day he is shitting and he hears the toilet "do you see what i see

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Knock knock. Who's there? Pete. I'm here to tell you that your entire family just died in a car accident.

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Four blonds are driving to Disney World when they come across a sign that says Disney World left... So they take the left and enjoy themselves at the place many considered the most wonderful place in the world.

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The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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what happened to the black guy after he turned off the light? he probably wanted to save energy, so he moved to a different room with natural sunlight as a light resource.

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Why 't the blonde dial 911? Because phones haven't had dials on them for at least 40 years or so. She can however punch it in on her keypad.

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muffled-thud muffled thud who's there? Jeremy Beadle.

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What did the scientist call a spider? An arachnid.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, i'd put my penis in your mouth

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I nicknamed my diick "the truth" because the biitches can't handle it

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What happened to the little boys house? It burned down. How did the boy die? In the fire.

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What did the hooker say to her employer after 1 hour....you owe my $20

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A man had a blue hat, a yellow hat and a red hat. This man has three hats.

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Knock Knock Who's There Santa Santa Who? I stole your dog.

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Wat is brown and sticky? A stick

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What did the man say to the duck? Nothing ducks don't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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