A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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Two muffins are in an oven. The oven is set to 425 degrees farenheit. The two muffins are taken out of the oven once cooked, and enjoyed by the couple who cooked them.

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Why was the little boy late to church? He was getting raped by the priest. ....the priest was late too.

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What did your last slave die of? Terminal Cancer

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Where did the watch-dog take the blind man on Saturday afternoon? Wherever the blind man wanted to go

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A Cow Walk's Into A Bar And Say's Drink Please The Bartender Is Then Sent To A Mental Hospital For Talking To A Cow.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Look at that bitches asss!!

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"Hey guys lets have a standing obviation." No one else stands....

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Q: What do you call an American who has both Irish and Italian ancestry? A: An American.

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Fun fact: If you took the skin of an average person and laid it flat you would have enough to get a pretty serious criminal conviction, amirite?

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a 5 year old rapes a pedophile

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Nobody enjoys your company. Nobody likes your work. Nobody loves you. There is no person who's name is legitimately nobody.

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What do you get when you read a book? More knowledge in your brain.

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A man walks into a doctors and says 'Doctor, Doctor, I have a bad stomach ache' Upon hearing this, the doctor writes the man a prescription for medication and wishes him a swift recovery.

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There is a high speed police pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns to the other and says "Moo".

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When Kylie and Conner have a baby he will have a centimeter Schmeter!

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why did the chicken cross the road because the farm is across the street from were it is now

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who is gay and sits next to me in my architecture class? James and austin!!!!

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Why do birds fly south in winter? Because its too far to go walking.

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A grandmother in her late seventies is walking to the grocery store. Then out of nowhere,she stats getting pelted by bananas. One hits her hard on the head,and she dies.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Dead.

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What kind of coins to you find at the bottom of the ocean? Wet coins.

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What did the African do when he found out he was constipated? He ate a laxative and went to the toilet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops