How did the fat woman survive the car accident? She had on her seat belt.

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Alcatraz is reopened only for Kevin's ma

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Want to get shot? Go to Virginia Tech. Too Soon?

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Little Jimmy has 100 candy bars, and he eats 95 of them. What dies little Jimmy have? Diabetes

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Q: What do you call a Muslim controlling a plane? A: A pilot.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick!

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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How did the Jewish husband and wife stay together forever? They didn't. They ended up in divorce like 50% of all other married couples due to irreconcilable differences.

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Why did Steve refuse to have sex with a black guy? Because Steve is heterosexual.

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Two mice fell into a bucket of cream. They both promptly drowned.

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Wanna hear a joke? A Republican political activist.

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Why did Sally flunk math? Because she didn't achieve the passing grade which is 60 percent or greater. She might need some tutoring in order to master the concept of the lessons to which she has difficulty solving.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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How did the girl die? 25.

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How many dead babies can you fit in my car? None, I don't allow anyone to put dead babies in my car.

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wanna hear a good anti-joke? no, anti-jokes are a waste of time.

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If there's a clown in a blender, how do you get him out? Tostitos.

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What do you call a blind man on a jet ski? Dead.

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What do you call 12 black doctors in a dark room? 12 black doctors in a dark room.

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What do Chinese people call Chinese food? Food.

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This sentence is false.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, i'd put my penis in your mouth

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Why do black people eat watermelon? Because it is a largely water-based, delicious fruit that provides refreshment in such a hot country and conveniently flourishes in the said climate.

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Whats worse than malaria? Dying from it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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