What did the the boy get from his grandma for Christmas. Nothing. she died a week ago.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Shit I'm bleeding.

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you know whats funny the letter Q

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What Can't You See and Stinks A Fart.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? How did you know it was me?

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Q. How do you make an oil lamp turn off? A. Break it.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Three blondes walk into a bar. I prematurely ejaculate.

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What's worse than loosing your pen? Getting raped by a pedophile.

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on a stool? Ask them kindly to do so. Their sexual orientation is of little to no importance in this situation.

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Why did the black man skip every other step on the stairs? Because he had long legs and it was faster.

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roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

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Breast cancer.

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What did batman do before getting into his batmobile? - Look for the keys.

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Mama Bear and Papa Bear were in court getting a divorce and the judge offered Baby Bear a choice of which parent to live with. "Do you want to live with your mother?" the judge asks. "No! She beats me." answers the baby bear. "OK, then you can live with your father." says the judge. "No! He beats me too!" cries baby bear. So Baby Bear was placed in a foster home.

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Your momma's so stupid, her IQ is below average.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a pedophile.

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John is typing... *2 seconds later" John: Hi

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What time is it when grandpa sits ontop of a telephone pole and throws pineapples at people? Time to go to a nursing home

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hi im phill

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A mexican pedophile stalks a child home. He molests him.

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What's green,has 4 legs and lives in a tree? A pool table

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Why did the lightbulb go out? It was on too long

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Why did the egg crossed the road? If X = chicken and C = the speed of light, then 2 to the power of the road which is 12 feet across times X/C = egg

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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