How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

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Do you like impressions? Why? That's Socrates

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An Englishman, Irishman, and Jew walk into a bar. Steven Spielberg is a Jew.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name is Paco, And yours is too.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar and decide to have a drinking contest. Who won? The rabbi. The priest died of alcohol poisoning later that night.

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Roses are red, Violets are unicorns, This s h i t doesn't make sense, Refrigerator.

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who do hannah morgan and bonnie do in their free time? ANTI JOKEZ

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justin beiber has a penis hahahahahahhaah lol not really

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.. unless you're color blind...

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What's a Guy Gotta Do? -Usher

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It can never be certain, as chickens are incapable of communicating.

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What did the mute say to his friend? Nothing.

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why did the kid raise his hand in class because he had a question

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Jon has 50 chocolate candy bars Jon eats 45 of them. What does Jon have? Diabetes...

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Justin Bieber's Never Say Never 3D came out the other day. I went to see it, and it was a pretty good movie.

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why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it tried but was hit by a truck at the halfway point.

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While I was walking home from school one day, James Brown jumped out of a bush and punched me in the face. Then, when I got home, there was a walrus sitting on my couch. He then turned to look at me and said, "Penis". I then immediately farted out blades of grass.

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What is funnier then 25 9/11

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Your mom's so fat that she went in to get liposuction and subsequently died from infection.

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Why did the plane crash? Why? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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what did one pedophile say to the other at the playground? DIBZ!!!

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Roses are red,violets are blue, im epileptic sdblkselhvefbed

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yo mama so fat she decided to go on a diet :)

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Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops