What's the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies? My wife didn't cheat on me in a pile of dead babies.

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Susan boyle has a belly button, Simon has a belly button, Because its only normal.

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I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!!! LOUD NOISES!!!

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *smiles* Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust ascending from hell.

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poop

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light turned green

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roses arent always red, they can be pink or white. violets are violet, not blue. your pretty lets have sex.

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What is worst than a worm in your apple, the holocaust and everything else? Finding me in your bed (or your mother screaming "help please, no wait its too good I will endure the pain") Rather than Santa`s presents for X-mas. Your friendly Neighborhood and Future ONE AND ONLY EMPEROR R*pist Moral Man:: X-mas is a great way of putting it, after all it is your kind that X-ed Christ... ...As for your mother/sister/Infant/ screaming... Don`t worry, I will come for you too when I am done, it might take a while to violate someone to death though so be patient, because you might end up as a patient... Hahahaha! If you are really FUCKlNG LUCKY!

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What do you call 5 of my friends and 5 of your friends hanging out together? I don't know. I don't have any friends.

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What did Obama say to Hilary? Will you be my secretary of state?

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Why don't women need watches? Because they probably have a cell phone, which works just as well.

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What is the same between a turtle and an eagle? They both fly, apart from the turtle.

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if dave has 50 candy bars and eats 45 what does he have? diabeties.

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What was the pirate movie rated? Pg-13

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Want to hear the best joke? Your life :,( i think i hate you?

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Knock knock Who's there? Carrot Carrot who? Carrot in the tree house, cause it's orange.

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he had uncontrollable muscle spasms.

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Man: Want to hear an anti joke? Woman: ok Man: Why did the the girl fall off her bike? Woman: I don't know. Man: She got hit by a refrigerator. Woman: ok

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What's black and hangs from a rope on a tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

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- Are you thinking what I'm thinking B1? - No.

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Three women are sent to heaven. Theres a blond , brunette , and a redhead. There are 100 steps to heaven and on every step god tells you a joke and you cant laugh. The redhead makes it to step 23 then laughs. The brunette makes it to step 67 then laughs. Finally the blond make it all the way to the 100th step and before god can tell the joke she laughs. God asks why are u laughing? And the blond says " i just got the 1st one"!

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Doctor, Doctor, I feel like I don't know anyone... Uh...who are you?

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roses are red, bitches are blue close your damn legs and use a condom too.

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A group of Germans eagerly await the FIFA football rankings. England is fourth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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