While I was having sex... Just kidding, I can't get laid.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

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why didnt the chicken cross the road? It was getting tired of the jokes

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John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead John then proceeds to violently masturbate. Sam at first feels uncomfortable, then shits all over John and joins in.

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An Asian man, a black man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They all buy the same drink, are charged the same price and say " We are all equal! " They then continue on with their days normaly.

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What happens when batman jumps off the top of a building? His fake wings fails and he dies upon impact of the ground.

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Whats luckier than finding a lucky penny? winning the lottery.

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What's the difference between and indian man and a barstool....... indians walked on the moon with a cow named chester.

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What do you call a man looking at Anti jokes on this ? you

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Whats brown and sticky? A peice of poo

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If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a video worth?

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you know what they say about men with big feet... damn you got some big feet.

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Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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What did your mom say after she went sky diving? Nothing, her parachute didn't open

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What's the difference between a duck and a belt? One floats in water and I don't remember the rest but you are a whore.

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What's the difference between a truckload of dead babies and a truckload of bowling balls? You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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Happy Birthday! Your mom is dead!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, a bus hit it half way along and it died instantly.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! Who's there?! ... Ditched again!

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What rhymes with bigger and can jump really high? Tigger

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Q:how man ADD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: I dont know, wanna go ride bikes?

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how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop!? thats what she said

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops