What's one thing good about cancer? (make them guess) Nothing you fricking prick!

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

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Why did the elephants get in a taxi? They were going to the airport.

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your mom died.

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One time I masturbated by myself

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Four blonds are driving to Disney World when they come across a sign that says Disney World left... So they take the left and enjoy themselves at the place many considered the most wonderful place in the world.

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Why did the plan crash? Because the pilot was a potato

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Your momma's eyesight is so weak she needs a pair of glasses to see properly

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how many horses does it take to piss on a cat 17 beccause rape isnt real in somalia

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Why was the ghost boy sad? He was attending his own funeral.

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What do you call a man who is walking into walls and poles? A blind man who really needs your help.

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TWIX PAUSE!

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Why did the man get a haircut? Because he had long hair.

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how long is a peice of string howeverlong you want to make it

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what do you call the man making meth in his basement? the police to stop inappropriate behavior from reaching the children of society.

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Whats the difference between a Duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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Darude- Sandstorm

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How do you make a tissue dance? Blow a little boogie in it!

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she was dead.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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What do you do if your computer breaks: Go on your phone. What do you do if your phone breaks: Go on you iPod What do you do if your iPod breaks: Then your screwed and you should get a Job and learn not to break things.

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How did the man with no arms or legs cross the street? He didn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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