Knock Knock Whos there? Jonny Jonny who? Jonny tsunami, hope you can swim Japan

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind and is a women, who are notoriously bad drivers.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did your mom cross the road? She Tripped and started rolling

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Your mom walked into a bar and got kicked out cause there's no dogs allowed.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted. You're adopt...wait what?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

I nicknamed my diick "the truth" because the biitches can't handle it

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's brown and smells like poop? A monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How did the Holocaust start? Hitler threw a penny into the oven

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a bus filled with White, Chinese, and Black people? Public transportation.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Another cat joke. You gotta be kitten me.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

SOPA gets passed and shuts down anti-joke because KFC claims the picture of the anti-joke chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What does the young boy say to the gay man Hello Jacob, because he was raised to respect and treat gays equally

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How did the girl die? 25.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

"Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimer's. "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimer's. "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Did you hear about the deer? He had antlers. If antlers where a kind of disease, that would be a pun.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why didn't the blind girl go to the party? She wasn't invited!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

If there's a clown in a blender, how do you get him out? Tostitos.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Ask him to come down.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops