A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital due to a large aneurysm that has burst in his brain because he walked into the bar.

.... Take my wife..... .... She is lovely....

Q: How much dirt is in a hole 3 by 6 by 2 feet? A: There's no dirt, it's a hole.

Did you hear about the guy who got all of his left side cut off?! He died of blood loss and permanent damage to his vital organs.

What's black, white, and red all over? A murdered interracial couple.

Why do women wear perfume and makeup? They smell bad and they're ugly.

Wow, that was a long opinion for someone that does supposedly not watch Hentai, hey, if you like hentai thats cool, I was about your age when I got really tired of watching sex drawn or not and just you know, went for it real life as they say nowadays. I just happen to like your eyes, I mean you do not like them, but avoid mirrors and I will be the one looking at them. Chobits, yeah, I watched that a looong time ago, then deathnote, and then nothing because I got too old for that stuff, Oh wait, gungrave, that I also watched.

What's green and red and goes a hundred miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

Roses are red Violets are blue In Soviet Russia Poem make YOU!

Two chairs were sitting there. One chair says "Could you pass me that cup?" The other chair says "Oh my God a talking chair!"

How did the boy die? Because he got molested and raped by a pedophile!

person 1:Dude, look at the news person 2:Yea man, its D ick Cheney person 1: what a d ick head

What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

What happened to the baby bird? It fell out the nest

How do you get a Mother out of a tree? Ask them to come down, because it is really not socially acceptable for a responsible adult to be climbing trees.

Why was the man crying? Because he was punched in the stomach.

Q: knock knock who is there A;dunno go check

guess what no i know what your thinking, its NOT chickenbutt. its that tomorrow i have a math test. that sucks.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Madeline McCan

What did one chick in a clothes shop say to another? That's cheap

whats brown and sticky? a four week dead uunborn african child...

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Armando masturbated

You know you're a redneck when you come from a rural area and behave as such.

Why was the sex offender sweating in the playground? Because he was pushing his over weight son on the swing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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