What did your mom say after she went sky diving? Nothing, her parachute didn't open

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between a duck and a belt? One floats in water and I don't remember the rest but you are a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q:how man ADD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: I dont know, wanna go ride bikes?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop!? thats what she said

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What rhymes with bigger and can jump really high? Tigger

thumb_up thumb_down -3

sticks and stones may break my bones but hemophilia will make me bleed to death

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's a fail with a bowl on its head, a 30 year old, and a 5 year old at the same time? Justin Beiber

thumb_up thumb_down -3

An irish man walks out of a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -3

whats big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? a pool table

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I t was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is the difference between an African and French person? Nothing all people ate equal.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Guess no ones home.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A three and a half foot tall clown walks into a bar, it is quickly learned that he is only 8 years old and is excorted out by security.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between a truckload of dead babies and a truckload of bowling balls? You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Happy Birthday! Your mom is dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, a bus hit it half way along and it died instantly.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the table say to the human? Nothing, tables don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack addiction. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And is then a homeless broke man who does not even have 4 quarters to his name.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A white man and a black man enter a public toilet. They both start to pee, and the white man looks over to the black man. He is dissappointed to find that the blackman's penis is not large according to stereotype, and then feels embaraased at his latent homosexuality. They both leave, never seeing eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well that, my friend, is a good question.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If E = cos[(6x+8) + 5x!] + tan(90-X)^2, and x = 137/43, what is E? The fifth letter of the alphabet.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what do you call a man with no friends? it's because of all the wear and tear that's done to the socks being thrown in her, and she desanitizes only the nun with no forebeard

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops