(read this aloud): A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. Him and the giraffe order multiple shots and get hammered. The giraffe on the other hand can't hold his liquor so well, and ends up passing out on the floor of the bar. The man decides to leave him there and take off. On his way out, the bartender yells, "Hey, you can't just leave that lyin' there!" and the man says, "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What's black and chrispy inside? A black guy with bonecancer

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What did the rednecks say when they saw the bat? Ma, I'm afraid this is the Myotis Sodalis, or Indian Bat. It is an endangered species. Thus, we cannot shoot it.

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What do you call an Arab with a long beard? An Arab with a long beard you stereotypical piece of crap.

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How did they wake up Lady Gaga? They p-p-poked her face p-p-poked her face......!

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If a woman was born in China, raised in France and got married and died in New Orleans, what is she? Dead.

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What happened to the baby bird? It fell out the nest

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Roses are red, violets are blue, the face like yours belongs to the zoo. Please don't be sad, 'cos I'll be there too.. Not in the cage but laughing at you!

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Look, gullible is written in the sky! The man looks up and there it is.

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What do a turtle and a tree have in common? They both can fly except for the turtle............and the tree

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Why did the Billy flunk the test? His parents were killed in a refridgerator

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Rose are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, Now so do you.

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A fat lady walks into a bar. Your probably wondering what she ordered. She ordered a ham burger.

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An asian, black man and a white guy are stranded in a desert with no food and no water, so what do they do Die

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Yarn

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What is the best way break up with your significant other without hurting their feelings? It is better to get it over with quickly and decisively. Gunshot to the head should do the trick.

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... Unless your colour blind.

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Why did the black man die? He was shot

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What do you get when you cross a donkey and a hemophiliac? A bleeding ass!

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Q: If Hitler spots a jew, what will he do? A: You suck at history dude, Hitler is dead! Moral: What? You did not get the daily news?

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all muslims get the fuck out of britain you fucks

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A blonde walks into a bar and orders a drink. The end.

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Why was the T-Rex so bad at math? Cause it was stupid

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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