What is James Miller's real name? James Miller.

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How does santa deliver presents? He doesn't, because he's not real!

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Peaches eat leaches, that is why sneaches live on beaches.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The 8 year old in my trunk

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Yo mamma's so stupid she sits on the TV and watches the couch. :) By Drew Bolton

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How do you scare a bonde? tell her you want to be her uterus?

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What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

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What's green and red and goes a hundred miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

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What's black and chrispy inside? A black guy with bonecancer

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Wheelchair high jump

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What do you get when you don't wear protection? A baby.

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What will you never see? A white guy that camp jump.

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Why was the boy kissing up to his parents? He only wanted them to say "I love you" for once.

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Why did the house get trashed? Cause the babysitter was a rooster

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? They smell bad and they're ugly.

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What happened to the teacher? He taught his students.

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How did they wake up Lady Gaga? They p-p-poked her face p-p-poked her face......!

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What's green and has wheels? The Holocaust. I lied about the green and the wheels.

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im gonna sue mcdonalds i asked for a hamburger and it was a beef burger -_-

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When a blonde entered a bar, she ordered a something that was a double-entendre. The bartender understood what she was trying to say, gave her her order whatever alcohol she happened to consume, and the blonde woman could not have been more courteous.

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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How do you describe a funny man on stilts? Stand up comedy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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