sticks and stones may break my bones but hemophilia will make me bleed to death

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Q:how man ADD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: I dont know, wanna go ride bikes?

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What rhymes with bigger and can jump really high? Tigger

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how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop!? thats what she said

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, a bus hit it half way along and it died instantly.

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Happy Birthday! Your mom is dead!

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What's the difference between a truckload of dead babies and a truckload of bowling balls? You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack addiction. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And is then a homeless broke man who does not even have 4 quarters to his name.

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What did the table say to the human? Nothing, tables don't talk.

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what do you call a man with no friends? it's because of all the wear and tear that's done to the socks being thrown in her, and she desanitizes only the nun with no forebeard

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well that, my friend, is a good question.

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If E = cos[(6x+8) + 5x!] + tan(90-X)^2, and x = 137/43, what is E? The fifth letter of the alphabet.

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A white man and a black man enter a public toilet. They both start to pee, and the white man looks over to the black man. He is dissappointed to find that the blackman's penis is not large according to stereotype, and then feels embaraased at his latent homosexuality. They both leave, never seeing eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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Doctor, I am afraid of getting sexually abused. Hmm, sounds serious, take off all your clothes so we can get a proper look.

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What do you call a middle-aged man at a preschool? A teacher.

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What do a bench and a mexican have in common? (don't worry it's not racist) You'll find both in a park. (I lied)

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A racist guy walks into a bar. Gets drunk, and cracks jokes. Then proceeds to get the shit kicked out of him.

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A Jew walks into a shower. Gased.

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what did the church group do at their picnic? drink the kool aid

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No Ok

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why did the one handed man cross the road? to get to the secondhand shop.

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why are tree's green cause that's how god made it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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