Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

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What's Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin' with his family

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A guy was beet by his wife.

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Q: what's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

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What's the difference between a plane and a Muslim dentist? A plane hasn't dedicated its life to the study of dentistry

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A black man, a Mexican man, and an Asian man all walked into a bar. They proceeded to have a good time together as they were celebrating their graduation from medical school.

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How do u get a clown off of a swing? You hit him with an axe.

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What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

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Why did the white guy sit on the bench while the black guys were playing basketball? His mother was calling, and his AP scores were coming in that day. Those scores were important to him.

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Why is Tom Garrick gay Answer- Because he is

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why did helen cellars dog runway. you would to if ur name was ujujujujjujujujujujj

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Whats the difference between a Duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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I think people who go to see a psychiatrist need their head examining.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and 10 dead babies? I don't keep a Lamborghini I'm my garage

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Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

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Why was the old man on the floor? He fell

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Roses are red Violets are blue The sky is blue too

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What does a carrot and a potato have in common? They're both not chocolate

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What is the definition of a "crying shame"? Very similar to the definition of a shame, but moreso.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an apple? I don't cum on an apple before I eat it.

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What did the president say after his wife and kids left Him? Im Obama self now

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There is a new film coming out, it is a re-make of "Fatal Attraction" The only difference is, it is about two tonnes of antimatter... [L]

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How many chicken feathers are there in a 50 pound bag? 50 pounds worth Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a duck Why did the man cross the road? It was duck season A woman is dying but can't reach her husband. Why? A duck ate his cell-phone A pig walks into a bar but there is no bartender. Where is she? Dead A duck hunter is selling a duck to a man. The man only pays the duck hunter a quarter. Why? It was full of chicken feathers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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