What has 4 eyes and can't see. Blind siamese twins!

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "How's it going?" The man replies, "Bless you." The man walks out of the bar, as his peers realize he was honest when he told them a week earlier that he had autism.

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yo' momma's so fat that when she saw a doctor he told her that she was overweight.

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Woman's Rights

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What happened when the man rubbed the magical lamp? Nothing.

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with a dinosaur? Beastiality

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Why wasn't the clown funny? He didn't have a face

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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What do you call George Mills? A very kind, sensitive person with a poor music taste.

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How do you make friends with a squrriel? Trust me, don't.

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The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, "Oh...Well, that's not so bad. At least I don't have AIDS."

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*knock knock* "who's there?" "me, the person who knocked..duh"

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What drink is dark yellow and freshly squeezed from one of the most healthy snacks? Piss.

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whats the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? the ferrari is not in my garage.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has two penises

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What is better than a cat? Nothing

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A man has only two fingers on one hand, and everybody calls him two-fingered Mike. Why? Because his fingers were lost in a tragic accident at birth, and his parents, who were considering calling him Mike, decided to lengthen the name because it seemed appropriate.

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What has two legs but can't walk? A quadriplegic man who lost mobility in his legs due to a horrific logging accident.

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What's worse than aids? Super aids.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Why does it matter, they can't chuck wood in the first place.

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What's worse than giong to Hell? Nothing. Hell is as bad as it gets.

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Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

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What is funny about a child with down syndrome? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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