when does lady gaga wake up? when she dreams about a bad romance

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Blonde: I'm sad. Brunette: Why? Blonde: I walked into a bar just to see my boyfriend having a drink with another woman, Brunette: I'm so sorry,

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What's worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? 1 dead baby in 12 trash cans.

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How many women does it take to drive a car? One. She had a sex change.

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What has four wheels and smells like an asshole? YOU.

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obama leadership

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? One has a complex circulatory system the other is a pizza.

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Nickelback

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Like why period? Why can't mother nature just call and be like ''Wassup girl? You're not pregnant, I'll talk to you next month.''

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven was a terrorist.

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Jennifer Kim is the nicest person I have ever met, everyone loves her.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

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When life gives you lemon squeeze it in someone's face

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Why was the mom crying? Her son was found in the oven.

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0 + 0 = 0

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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What did Michael Jackson get for Christmas? Nothing he's dead

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*Knock Knock *Whos there? *ADD *ADD Who? *I forgot but you wana build a fort.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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What happened to those who survived the attack on Hiroshima? They were killed in Nagasaki

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Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate the mac and cheese before it was cool.

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you know whats funny the letter Q

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Kid: knock knock Orphan: whos there? Kid: not your parents

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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