Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Pain Olympics.

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What did Bear Grylls say to the dead whale? Mmmm.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 24

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God is almighty, as such he ANSWERS TO NO ONE! Moral: What you praying for then bitch?

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ask me if im a fence are you a fence WALNUTS!

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Why did the car go down the road? Someone was driving it. Why did the car stop? Because he suddenly fell and had a stroke.

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what is sticky and brown?a stick

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Why was the school field trip cancelled? The Holocaust.

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Why did the man go bald? He had cancer

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My pet rock died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz 7 8 9

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what did the blond do after she turned 18? Reelected Obama.

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A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

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Why did the squirrel cross the... *Squash*

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Why did the pedophil go to church? To rape small children.

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Whats the worst part of Chemotharapy? The Cancer.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Why did the mexican cross the road? His drugs were on the other side.

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Why is Keven's name spelled with an E Because his parents are black.

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Joe Alfon walkes into hell, The devil say: " hi" And joe burns to death

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What was Hellen Keller's dogs name? dhfgbvskjne How did Hellen Keller's dog die? Natural causes.

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A man walks into a bar. What does he say? Ouch!

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What do you do when your internet goes down? You right click on the internet connection and try to fix the problem.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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