Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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I like my coffee how I like my women. Without a penis. - Blake Woodman

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knock knock ... no one was in

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3 guys walk into a bar....dont you think one would see it ?

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When Nicki Minaj wrote her song "Stupid Hoe" she was sublimminally talking about her self.

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Their, they're, there You're, your

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Yo Mama so slow She can't run very fast.

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"Hey guys lets have a standing obviation." No one else stands....

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What's worse than a 15 year old getting hit by a car? Adam Johnson

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Two muffins are in an oven. The oven is set to 425 degrees farenheit. The two muffins are taken out of the oven once cooked, and enjoyed by the couple who cooked them.

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Person 1: Eric is in the hospital! I think it was those depression pills. Person 2: What did he overdose? Person 3: No he just took to much.

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Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

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your mom is so old. she can legally get a senior discount

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How do you do you cure cancer? Very carefully.

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The internet is the most terrible fucking place in existence.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree it can hurt you? A pool table.

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The bear woke up after his long hibernation of the winter. "Boy, am I hungry!" The bear wandered around and ate some berries. "These blackberries are too bitter and unripe for my taste, I'll go eat something else." He stumbled upon a honeybee hive and took some honey out and ate it. He was swarmed and stung by many of those bees. "That wasn't my favorite batch of honey, I'm still pretty hungry, let me go find some other food. He came across a cabin in the woods. "There maybe some food in there." To some, this was known as the Northern Vermont Massacre. It was a tragic happening. The 7 membered family, the Hernandez family, all died that day. The bear chase all of the adult and children and the house and brutally ate them.

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How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family.

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How do you kill a retard? Pour gasoline on him and light him on fire.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them

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what do you call an ocelot with ebola? an ocelot that might die soon.

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Have you heard the joke about the Swedish surgeon who found a frog in his patient's stomach? Yes, you've told me it before.

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Why does a chicken lay an egg? If she'd throw it it would break.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops