An Englishman, Irishman, and Jew walk into a bar. Steven Spielberg is a Jew.

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Paddy and mick were walking down the street when they saw some traffic lights. They proceeded to cross the road and continue on their journey.

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How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

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Do you like impressions? Why? That's Socrates

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what does the black guy order for a drink at the bar. kool aid

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Three blondes walk into a bar. I prematurely ejaculate.

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Why did the black man skip every other step on the stairs? Because he had long legs and it was faster.

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What's worse than loosing your pen? Getting raped by a pedophile.

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on a stool? Ask them kindly to do so. Their sexual orientation is of little to no importance in this situation.

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roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

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What do you get when you cross an orangatang with a grizzly bear? Nothing, they just walk past each other unless the bear eats the shit out of the monkey then feeds it to her cubs

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Knock Knock? Who's there? How did you know it was me?

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why did the kid raise his hand in class because he had a question

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Justin Bieber's Never Say Never 3D came out the other day. I went to see it, and it was a pretty good movie.

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What did the mute say to his friend? Nothing.

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what do you call an indian dating service? you dont call it anything there all arranged marriages.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, im epileptic sdblkselhvefbed

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Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period.

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yo mama so fat she decided to go on a diet :)

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Roses are red. My name is dave. This poem makes no sense. Microwave.

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What is funnier then 25 9/11

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Why did the plane crash? Why? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Your mom's so fat that she went in to get liposuction and subsequently died from infection.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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