How many watermelons did the black man have? Too many to count, he was a farmer and his primary crop was watermelons.

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A. Do you know what they call Bing Crosby in Sweden? B. No. A. Bing Crosby.

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Q. What do you tell a women with two black eyes? A. Stop pissing him off!

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What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

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Why didn't the Irishman want to drink anymore? Because he wasn't thirsty.

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Whats white and sticky fluff

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter it's not going to come to you anyway.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy! But iI'm on bath salts and your face looks tasty!

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall of the second time? I pushed her.

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How do you cripple a fireman? You push him down the stairs.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this cloth smell like chloroform to you!

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Why did the man fall of the building? Someone shot both of his kneecaps.

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How do you stop a charging rhinocerous? Nuke africa.

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Poem Of Love: Each time i see you i feel like i need you and i love you.. i hope you became my girl and live with me cause without you i can't live.

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How do you kill a retard You give em a kinfe and ask who's special

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Whats pink and screaming? a skinned baby in a bucket of vinegar+

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Spanish Inquisition.

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Whats Something everyone has except david? Money.

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Why was the little boy afraid of Mr.Clean? Because he reminded him of his father who was an alcoholic and used to beat him savagely.

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Guy 1: why are you such a douche? Guy 2: cause douches get the most p***y

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No.

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Pete and repeat were on a boat. Repeat fell off, who was left?

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Q: What's Black and White and Red All Over? A: This is a logical fallacy. If something is "Red All Over," it is implied that no other color can be showing. Thus, whatever innate Black and/or Whiteness was formerly attributed to said object will now have been inherently obfuscated by its Redness.

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Whats worse than seeing your mom naked. Your dad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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