A man walks into a bar He is STD positive.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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Why did you insult me and then punch me in the face? The hell if you care anymore, I killed you straight after. Neo-Nero. (Rest in peace Nero7 better known as The Moral Man, I hope I can one day live up to your greatness.) Moral: "Keep your spirits up, we are all going to die sometime, but life means nothing if we lose faith in ourselves and each other" Moral 2: "Nero Septimus, that will be my first and last moral that made a figment of fucking sense, if you are watching from whatever comes from life, I know that this is what you would have done, but just so you know and always wanted for us that followed you, I am doing this for my own goddamn fucking self, respects... Now if your ghost is still watching, get the fuck out of my room you damn cripple, and know that your arm is somewhere in the basement because its so goddamn bad ass that it fucking freaks me out, and so fucking heavy that I think you where some sort of superhuman, now gtfo, as you taught us, we cant focus on the goddamn afterlife, if we are gonna get the best out of life and the present, adios amigo"

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why is 6 afraid of 7 ? because 7 is black.

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I just flew here from Cleveland, and boy are my arms tired! The people on either side of me were hogging the armrests, so I had to kind of tuck my arms up behind my head and it was very uncomfortable.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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What did the Ocean say to the Sky? Nothing, it just waved.

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What's the difference between a woman and a car? A woman is merely a useful object, whereas a car deserves love, care, and respect.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bucket of poop. The Mexican is a human the bucket of poop is an object filled bodily wastes.

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Wanna here a joke? Canadians.

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What's the difference between a whale and an elephant

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why was the chinese man so good at math it was his favorite subject

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1: Ask if I'm a truck. 2: Uh... Are you a truck. 1: No.

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why did the man jump off the building? to commit suicide.

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Why does Spongebob go to work? Because he's ready.

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knock knock who's there? i eat mop I eat mop who?

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why do elephants eat peanuts? so they can save the wrappers for valuable prizes

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A black man went to jail while a white man received $200 dollars. They were playing a friendly game of monopoly.

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A caterpillar walks into a bar. I don't know how he opened the door.

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Dead babies and disabled kids. Jews, mexicans and black people. Hitler and prostitutes. Sex sex sex sex sex.

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What is the difference between a brick and a ginger? The entirety of their chemical make up and physical appearance.

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How do you kill half of Mexico? You use nuclear weapons in major cities.

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Grab your Taco, you've pulled a dyslexic Mexican

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What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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