What's long, hard, and filled with semen? A submarine

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A man walks into a bar and says he has a talking dog. He is then taken to a mental hospital and diagnosed with schizophrenia.

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What rhymes with Hitler? Walt Disney.

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Whats the different betweene a drugdealer and a cop? I dont know but i think they dont have the same wife.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Oh wait i screwed up, Because of u

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Why don't you play uno with Mexicans? Because they collect all the green cards.

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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yo mama is fat shes fat

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What did the hat say to the other hat? Nothing, because hats don't talk, stupid.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bag of crap? Quite a bit. The black man is a human male of the Kingdom Animalia, while the bag is an inanimate object. The only similarity between them would be that they both contain organic matter.

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What did the unappreciated YTPer say in the comment section of Nyan Cat? "PLEASE CHECK OUT MY YTP'S! I'M BEGGING YOU! YOU DON'T LOVE ME!!! WHY?!!! Q_Q"

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Why was the young girl? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

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When life hands you lemons, you should question your sanity

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will have her institutionalized as soon as they find her.

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Whats the difference between the black man and the white man? The black man was born with more melanin the pigment in there skin, which would concur the black man did have darker skin. Also, the white man had cancer.

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There were 3 guys named Sean, Ryan, and Eye. They were best friends. However, things escalated when Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend and Ryan found out. Ryan felt he had to tell Sean that Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend. Ryan went up to Sean and said "Dude, Eye slept with your girlfriend!" Then Sean shot Ryan in the head before Ryan realized what he had said. Game Over

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot.

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Johnny Manziel is the best quarterback ever (this isn't a joke only a true statement)(this is a remake of a previous joke)

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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A Muslim, a Jew, and a Christian find a magical lamp with a genie inside. He offers each of them one wish. The Muslim wishes that people didn't look at his people as terrorists. The Jew wishes that the Holocaust never happened, and the Christian wishes for world peace. Actually this didn't happen, Genies don't exist.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

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If you have 5 dollars, and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, you are both very poor.

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Hey I just meet you And this is crazy I took bath salts Your face looks tasty

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What was the last thing the clown said to his wife before she died? Rebecca, just stay with me, the ambulance is almost here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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