Why did the man cross the road? To attend his wife's funeral.

A man walks into a bar and says "hey bartender wanna help me out!" The bartender says "no."

What did the farmer say when he didn't like his tractor? Man, i don't like this tractor

How can you confirm that Saturday comes after friday, and that Sunday comes after Saturday? consult Rebecca Black.

Why did the woman start crying? She didn't have woman's rights... That's right, get back in the kitchen

Billy Corgan: The world is a vampire! Me: No it's not. The world is a mass of mineral compounds that floats in space approximately 93,020,000 miles from the sun. It is not, in fact, a vampire.

Do you know what is dead on the carpet ? Your mother

what did the guy tell the other guy? you're gay

There is a man with the surname of Westmoreland. This is a terrible name.

Who livs in a pineaple under the sea? Lots of mold and bacteria

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

Onions are like loved ones... They are both nouns. And you cry when you cut into them.

Guess how old my lil bro is...Well your wrong cause he's dead.

What's the difference between a fine wine and a dead baby in a blender? One gets better as it ages, and the other is a horrific accident.

Why did suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms... Why couldn't she get back up? -she had no friends

How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

How do you make a mother at the playground cry? You steal her 3 year old daughter

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

What did the person say to the person about to run into the tree? Watch out for that tree!

Why are elephants gray? So you don't get them confused with blueberries.

Roses are red, Violets are VIOLET!

Why do the piglets have their heads down low? Because they are ashamed that their mom is fat.

Why did the gecko cross the road.... Because he saw great deals on car insurance!!!

What is brown and sticky. Hot chocolate.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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