How do you differentiate a Canadian from an American ? The American will have an American Passport,while the Canadian will have a Canadian passport.

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You know what's better than a taco? A better taco.

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a man i knew who was a real jerk was about to drive home drunk. i was trying to stop him, but then he punched me in the face. i let him through. he died that night. i texted him all the way

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Why do Christians believe in God? They made him up

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set? Because she didn't.

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What do you call a Jewish wanna be gangster? Drake

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A woman who owns a parrot leaves her home, forgetting that a plumber is scheduled to come fix her sink. A few minutes after she leaves, the plumber arrives and knocks on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waits for a minute and, seeing that nobody has come to the door, knocks again. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, a little more loudly, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink!" The plumber waits for a minute and bangs hard on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screams, "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIINK!!!" Just then, the plumber clutches his chest and falls dead to the ground. When the woman returns home, she sees the dead man in front of her door. She opens her door to go to her phone and asks the parrot, "who is it?" The parrot replies, "WHO IS IT?"

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Tell you something funny.

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Whats worse then getting caught in the rain with no umbrella? Aids.

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Jumping out of an airplane without a parachute is a once in a lifetime expeirence.

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What do you call a new born baby ? Whatever name you and your partner have agreed upon after months of sifting through baby names.

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what do you call an astrounaut in space? an astrounaut you racist bastard

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Why did the squirrel cross the... *Squash*

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What did one skeleton say to the other? Nothing... Skeletons don't have vocal cords

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What's the difference between a cow and a fat person. Nothing

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Why did Suzue fall of the swing? The chain broke.

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Whats the difference between a horse and a snake? A snake is poisons, a horse is not.

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My nieghbor is blonde, but she doesnt like corn dogs or anything of that sort because her boyfriend is mexican. Mexcans are banned from eating corn dogs because they illegally crossed the border. Her dog wieghs about 8.9485763 pounds. Her nieghbor also protests corndogs because she cant fit throught her customized door which was 39 feet long. Why was six afraid of seven? because that lady is 700 pounds.

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What do you get when you put a frog in a paper shredder? Harshly punished by the Animal Humane Society

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selena gomez & justin beiber go in space. selena says im hotter than the sun. the way she knows this information is that she is near the sun at this time justin beiber has already drifted of in space.

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Whats pink and screaming? a skinned baby in a bucket of vinegar+

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How did the child cross the road? He couldn't his legs had been lost in an awful car accident that had killed his whole family.

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Rose are red Violets are blue And I really hate you Friends?????

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What did James say when he couldn't find his car? "My name's James".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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